Emotion (2 of 3): The Art of Silence

For dad only:

Time to Shut Up

Enjoy this devotional on teaching children the importance of keeping quiet.
I grew up being told that “shut up” was a bad word and was warned never to say it. One day a preacher said, “It’s just like fire, shut up in my bones!” My three-year old cousin spoke up, loudly enough for people to hear a few rows back, “He just said a bad word!”

Perhaps, though, the idea of shutting up is not so bad after all. I have saved myself a lot of trouble by shutting up. I have helped restore and strengthen others by shutting up. An effective counselor knows the power of being quiet. Jesus used this skill very well.

Seen and not heard

Most conservatives I know have not preserved the practice of children being seen but not heard. We speak in glowing terms of old time values and the simpler way of life, but our kids join these conversations and add in their opinions as well. In an older day, they would not have had that chance.

I do not tell my kids to be silent when at the table. I think the table is a great opportunity for growth, interaction, and discipleship (we’ll talk more about this next time). However, I do encourage my children to listen to those older than themselves.

Recently, my father-in-law was helping us with some repairs around the house. One of my offspring started explaining why he thought we should do the project a certain way. I pointed out to him that we were not here to instruct the wise, but to learn from them. If someone is more skilled or more experienced than I am in an area, I want to hear them talk, not ramble on in my ignorance.

Another kind of listening

Your kids might distract you or even bore you with their prattle and imaginations. Listen to them. Whether playing with dolls or designing a dream home, they speak their hearts. When you stop and listen, you learn a lot.

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Read this to the kids to help them learn why to keep quiet:

Quiet Time

Last time, Rusty and Dad went bow hunting.

 

Rusty’s arrow left the string, but because of his nervousness, he sent it flying crooked. It was pointing upward when it got to the deer and hit the animals back and bounced off. Rusty’s heart sunk.

In a split second, an arrow pierced deep into the animal’s chest. Rusty blinked and looked again. He really did see an arrow hanging out of the deer’s side. The buck stood stunned for a minute. Rusty suddenly realized that Dad had shot right after he did. They had a deer.

“Woo-hoo!” Rusty shouted. “We got him!”

Suddenly, two does jumped out of the brush. Rusty had not see them, but now they were running away for all they were worth, their white tails waved goodbye through the forest.

“Did you see that?” he asked, looking at Dad. Now, the buck jumped into the air and started to run. It staggered a little and ran in an odd angle.

Dad whispered, “Be quiet, Son.”

Now Rusty realized what he had done. They could have shot those two deer also, if he had been quiet. Now the buck was running off and they would have to follow it for who-knows-how-long until it finally collapsed.

After watching the direction of the buck for a moment, Dad climbed down. Rusty could not see it any longer either. He got down and began looking for blood on the forest floor so they could follow where the deer had gone.

“Right here,” Dad said in a quiet voice. “He’s bleeding pretty good, so he should not go far. Don’t scare him again, or we will have to drag him back that much farther.”

They followed the blood trail without saying anything. Rusty really wanted to apologize, but he knew that anything he said right now would only make things worse. He really was mad at himself for scaring off two good deer.

It took an hour of waiting and quietly looking before they found where the buck went down. Fortunately it had not gone too far, but it was still a lot of work to drag it back to the campsite. By the time they got back, Rusty’s stomach was gnawing at his ribcage, trying to get to some food. They washed up and had a snack before loading up the gear and heading home.

•       •       •

Misty had practiced for days on a new piano song. She had just learned to play with both hands and really liked the sound of left-hand chords accompanying the right-hand melody. She was still practicing when Rusty and Dad pulled into the driveway.

“Mom! I want to play this for them, okay?”

“Sure, honey,” Mom agreed, looking out the window.

In a minute, Rusty came bounding through the door, his eyes bright and full of stories.

Misty said, “Hey, you are just in time to hear my new song!” Before Rusty could speak, Dad came in the door and Misty said, “Oh Dad, you have got to hear this!”

She sat back down at the piano, squinted at her notes and began playing.

Rusty swallowed hard. He glanced at Mom who was smiling at Misty and her hard-won skill. He decided to listen quietly and wait his turn.

Misty played the notes on the first page and continued steadily with both hands through the marks on the second page. Mom turned the page for her and she continued playing down those notes as well. Her face beamed and the chop-choppiness of her playing smoothed into a flow of beautiful music.

Rusty listened. He never realized Misty had a talent for piano playing. He could tell what the tune was without looking at the page. He felt proud of his sister that she could make the piano sing.

When she finished, Dad clapped. “Wow!” he said hugging her, “I didn’t know my little girl was such a musician. You have done a great job, honey.”

Rusty beamed. “I could tell what song it was without even looking. Good job, Misty.”

She rubbed her fingers. “It has been a lot of work, but it is starting to become really fun.”

Mom looked at her son. “Rusty, you looked like you had a lot to say when you walked in. Did you have a fun time?”

“Oh yeah!”

“Did you get anything?” Misty asked.

“Oh yeah!” Dad and Rusty said together.

“We got a big buck! His antlers have ten points!” Rusty said. “I almost had him, but it was Dad’s arrow that brought him down.”

“Let’s go see it!” Misty said, running to pull on her boots.

Rusty talked non-stop about the adventure, and his mistake, while Mom followed them out to the truck.

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Now discuss the value of silence and quietness!

Do you like being quiet?

 

Why is it good to learn the art of silence?

 

Do you learn more by talking or listening? How does it matter what or who you listen to?

 

How would it have helped Rusty and Dad if Rusty had stayed silent in the woods?

 

How did it help Misty for Rusty to be quiet when she wanted to share her skill with them?

 

What did Rusty learn by listening to his sister?

 

When have you gotten in trouble for talking instead of being quiet?

 

When have you learned new things by listening?

 

Why is listening important at church and during devotions?

 

What others times is listening very important?

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Read God’s Word on the importance of keeping quiet at the right time:

A Time To Speak, a Time to Be Silent

 

Jesus went across to Mount Olives, but he was soon back in the Temple again. Swarms of people came to him. He sat down and taught them. The religion scholars and Pharisees led in a woman who had been caught in an act of adultery.

They stood her in plain sight of everyone and said, “Teacher, this woman was caught red-handed in the act of adultery. Moses, in the Law, gives orders to stone such persons. What do you say?”

They were trying to trap him into saying something incriminating so they could bring charges against him. They kept at him, badgering him.

He straightened up and said, “The sinless one among you, go first: Throw the stone.” Bending down again, he wrote some more in the dirt.

Hearing that, they walked away, one after another, beginning with the oldest. The woman was left alone.

Jesus stood up and spoke to her. “Woman, where are they? Does no one condemn you?”

“No one, Master.”

“Neither do I,” said Jesus. “Go on your way. From now on, don’t sin.”

(John 8:1-11, MSG)

 

He was beaten, he was tortured, but he didn’t say a word. Like a lamb taken to be slaughtered and like a sheep being sheared, he took it all in silence.

(Isaiah 53:7)

 

The men in charge of Jesus began poking fun at him, slapping him around. They put a blindfold on him and taunted, “Who hit you that time?”

They were having a grand time with him. When it was morning, the religious leaders of the people and the high priests and scholars all got together and brought him before their High Council. They said, “Are you the Messiah?”

[He replied “]If I asked what you meant by your question, you wouldn’t answer me. So here’s what I have to say: From here on the Son of Man takes his place at God’s right hand, the place of power.”

They all said, “So you admit your claim to be the Son of God?”

“You’re the ones who keep saying it,” he said.

But they had made up their minds, “Why do we need any more evidence? We’ve all heard him as good as say it himself.”

(Luke 22:63-71)

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Let’s talk about the importance of silence!

When the woman got in trouble, Jesus could have said things against her that would have made those men kill her. Why didn’t He?

 

Jesus could have stayed out of trouble if He kept quiet. What did He do? What happened?

He talked. He said things that made them kill Him.

 

Do you tend to talk so that others will get in trouble? Why?

 

Do you usually keep quiet about the things that will get you in trouble, or do you say it anyway?

 

When Jesus’ attackers were accusing Him and hurting Him, He did not say anything. What do you learn from this?

 

Role play: You start throwing a plastic ball around in the house. Your friend grabs it and throws it hard. It breaks a lamp. When your parents ask what happened, will you keep quiet about how you started it? Will you blame your friend? Why or why not?

Adults are talking about fishing. You have been fishing before and caught a big one. Will you tell them about your experience and teach them what you know? Or will you listen to see what else you can learn? Why?

How does Proverbs 17:28 apply to this?

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Help your kids memorize a verse on the importance of quietness!

Proverbs 17:28

Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.