Faith, Hope, Love (3 of 3)

For dad only,

a devotional on the five languages of love:

Love

You cannot raise a child for God unless you love him or her. Of the three qualities, love trumps faith or hope. It takes the power of the Spirit to have a home full of love. Love does not come from you, God dwells in you and grows it.

Loving language

Have you ever caught yourself being rude, accusing, insulting, or angry with your children? Too many of us waste time trying to control our mouths so we do not make the same mistake again. However, you cannot control your mouth unless your heart is right. If you speak hatefully it is because hate dwells in your heart.

Start at the beginning. Change the source of your speech. Repent of the bitterness you are holding onto. Once you forgive your spouse, your ex, or whoever else you have been holding hostage, you can love your children easily. It is amazing how easy it is to speak right words once you have a right heart.

Five love languages

After you get the spiritual aspect of love right, we dads need to hone our skills in showing love. Gary Smalley identifies three key ways people receive and share love: encouraging words, quality time, acts of service, meaningful touch, and gifts.

Each of your children speaks a love language. Do you know what they are? How do you make the effort to speak each one of them?

Which of your children feels most loved when you

• do something for him or her?
• give him or her a special gift?
• take time to listen or hang out?
• say something encouraging?
• give him or her a backrub or hug?

I did some teaching on this at a workshop in the Shema Family Conference this year. Get the full DVD from apostolichomeschoolers.org. View this short clip:

Or, try this link: http://vimeo.com/49046769

Win your children’s hearts by love.

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Read this to the kids:

Meaningful Relationships

Last time, Rusty and Dad were heading home with their hiking guide, Troy.

 

“I think I saw the eagle,” Dad said, answering Rusty’s question. “But I was so focused on getting you safely up the mountain that I did not stop to look at it too closely.”

“It was awesome. I was just hanging there, relaxing. He came flying by so close, it was just like…”

Suddenly Dad jumped back from the edge of the trail. “Whoa! Get back Rusty.”

Rusty jumped back behind his dad and peeked around to see what was wrong. Then he heard a rattling sound. Troy was still coming down the trail behind them.

“That’s a rattlesnake,” he said. “Good thing you saw it! That was close to the trail.”

The snake had coiled up and was shaking its rattling tail up in front of its own face.

“See how scared he is?” Troy asked.

Rusty suddenly noticed he had stopped breathing. “He’s scared?” Rusty asked, gasping. “I know I am.”

Troy and Dad laughed.

“Me, too, partner,” Dad said. The three of them stood at a safe distance and watched the snake slowly uncoil and begin to slither away.”

“Are we just going to let him go?” Rusty asked, noticing his legs were a little wobbly.

“Did you want to catch him?” Troy said with a chuckle.

“No, we should kill him!” Rusty said.

“You don’t want to do that,” Troy responded. “God put him here for a reason. If we killed off all those big snakes, the rabbits and other varmints would overrun these parts. Nah, let the guy live. He’s not hurting anybody.”

“I don’t know,” Rusty said, “I would feel a lot better if there weren’t any of those around anymore. I could kill of the extra rabbits and critters for them. That would just be more hunting for us. Right, Dad?”

“Sure enough, Rusty,” Dad said. “I have to admit, I am with you on this. I would just as soon not have any of those nasty animals around.”

Once the reptile had slithered away into the tall grass, the three of them sighed, relaxed, and moved on down the trail. They did not say much more as they walked, but kept their eyes wide open just in case Mrs. Rattlesnake happened to be on the path, too.

When they got down to the head of the trail, Rusty helped Troy load all his gear back into his SUV. Dad said, “Troy, thank you so much for giving your time and experience to us. Rusty and I have had a great time. We will never forget this day.”

Troy tousled Rusty’s hair and said, “Well, thank you. I am glad you all enjoyed it. We will have to do it again sometime.”

“Yes, that would be awesome! Thank you so much!” Rusty said.

They all said goodbye. Dad and Rusty jumped in the truck and headed home.

“I can’t wait to tell Mom what else happened today!”

•       •       •

When Dad and Rusty finally pulled into the driveway at home, Rusty realized he had been napping. He yawned and said, “Wow, we’re home already?”

“Yes, sir.”

Rusty noticed they did not park in the garage as usual, but he did not say anything. They walked up to the front door. Dad stood behind him and said, “Go on in.”

Rusty opened the door, but the living room was dark. “Why is it so dark in here,” he wondered out loud as he searched for the light switch in the dark.

Suddenly all the lights came on and people from all over the room shouted, “Surprise! Happy Birthday!”

Rusty looked in shock at the faces of his friends from church, Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, Misty, Shoshanna, Ian, Carter, and others.

“Wow!” he said at last.

Mom came over and gave Rusty a hug. “Did you have fun?”

“Yes! “We had a great time. But I did not expect all of this!”

Carter handed Rusty a box with wrapping paper. “I hope you like this,” he said. “I have one, too.”

Dad said, “Go ahead and open it!”

Rusty ripped open the paper and found a blank white box. He cut the tape with Dad’s knife and looked inside. “Cool! A walkie-talkie!”

“And I have one just like it. It can go fifteen miles!”

“Cool. You have to go hiking with us next time, Carter. We can bring these.”

Misty said, “I want to go hiking next time, too.”

“It was awesome,” Rusty said, “we got to see a real live rattlesnake!”

“What?” she shrieked.

Mom looked at Dad. “You saw what?”

“It wasn’t a really big one,” Dad said with laugh. “But it was sitting right beside the walking trail.”

“Never mind,” Misty said, “I don’t think I want to go after all.”

Mom said, “Sounds like you guys had quite an adventure. Let’s open the rest of your gifts and cards, Rusty. Then you can sit down and tell us all about your climb while Grandma cuts the cake!”

“All right,” Rusty said. He sat down at the table, surrounded by people who loved him.

 

 

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Now discuss this devotional on the five languages of love!

Would you want to see a poisonous snake out in the wild?

 

There are five ways people show love. They are encouraging words, quality time, acts of service, meaningful touch, and gifts. Each of these five appeared in our story. Find them as you answer the following questions:

 

Which love language did Rusty show Troy at the end of the trail?

Acts of service. He helped load the stuff in his car.

 

Which love language did Dad show to Troy?

Encouraging words. He thanked and praised him.

 

What love language was demonstrated by Rusty’s friends?

Gifts. Giving him a party.

 

How did Mom show love when Rusty first got home?

Meaningful touch. She hugged him.

 

What love language did Mom demonstrate by having everyone sit down and listen to Rusty’s adventure?

Quality time. They just sat and listened.

 

[Learn more about the Five Languages of Love by reading Gary Smalley’s book on this amazing topic.]

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Read God’s Word together:

Yes, Jesus Loves

 

Meaningful touch

Some people brought their babies to Jesus for him to place his hands on them. The disciples saw them and scolded them for doing so, but Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the children come to me and do not stop them, because the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Remember this! Whoever does not receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.”

(Luke 18:15-17, GNB)

Acts of service

Jesus got out of the boat, and when he saw the large crowd, his heart was filled with pity for them, and he healed their sick.

(Matthew 14:14)

 

Gifts

That evening his disciples came to him and said, “It is already very late, and this is a lonely place. Send the people away and let them go to the villages to buy food for themselves.”

“They don’t have to leave,” answered Jesus. “You yourselves give them something to eat!”

“All we have here are five loaves and two fish,” they replied.

“Then bring them here to me,” Jesus said. He ordered the people to sit down on the grass; then he took the five loaves and the two fish, looked up to heaven, and gave thanks to God. He broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. Everyone ate and had enough. Then the disciples took up twelve baskets full of what was left over. The number of men who ate was about five thousand, not counting the women and children.

(Matthew 14:15-21)

Quality time

As Jesus and his disciples went on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha welcomed him in her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat down at the feet of the Lord and listened to his teaching.

Martha was upset over all the work she had to do, so she came and said, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself ? Tell her to come and help me!”

The Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha! You are worried and troubled over so many things, but just one is needed. Mary has chosen the right thing, and it will not be taken away from her.”

(Luke 10:38-42)

 

Words of affirmation

“You have stayed with me all through my trials; and just as my Father has given me the right to rule, so I will give you the same right. You will eat and drink at my table in my Kingdom, and you will sit on thrones to rule over the twelve tribes of Israel.

“Simon, Simon! Listen! Satan has received permission to test all of you, to separate the good from the bad, as a farmer separates the wheat from the chaff. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith will not fail. And when you turn back to me, you must strengthen your brothers.”

(Luke 22:28-32)

 

 

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Suggested discussion for this devotional on the five languages of love:

How did Jesus demonstrate the five languages of love?

 

How did Mary practice the art of quality time?

 

It is important for us to know who in our family speaks which love language. When we know this, we can make that person feel more special.

Who in our family likes hugs and cuddling more than the others?

Who in our family thrives on praise, kind words, and encouragement?

Who feels appreciated the most when you help them do something?

Who feels most love in our family when you just spend time with them, listening, or staying with them?

Who feels loved the most when people buy them gifts or give them treats and little surprises?

 

Read Proverbs 10:12. What does love do?

            Forgives.

 

How can you show someone you have forgiven them with the five languages of love?

Doing something for them

Sitting down and talking with them

Giving them something

Saying kind things to them

Giving a back massage

 

[The Five Languages of Love will also transform your marriage. Read Gary Smalley’s book on this amazing topic.]

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Memorize it!

Proverbs 10:12

 

Hatred stirreth up strifes:

but love covereth all sins.