For DAD Only:
Put Up or Bear Up?
My first three months of dadhood were nearly unbearable. My wife and I put up with our new baby crying all the time. I began to view children as something you just had to “put up with.” However, God led me to see that children are not my burden, but my mission. I shouldn’t put up with them, I must bear them up.
We bear the load of parenting by prayer, first of all. Everyday, I must carry my kids before the throne of God. I find myself weeping for their protection and safety in this wicked world. Early in the morning, late at night, I have often felt a special leading of the Spirit to intercede for their lives and their futures. I want them to have godly goals. I want to see them learn godly character. I want them to know the Lord Jesus as a personal friend.
I remember in my teen years, listening to a pastor’s wife dealing with an unbearable son. At eighteen he left home. He turned to alcohol and chasing wild women. With tears in her eyes she told of how she would pray late into the night for this wayward son. She would see him on the streets of her city and be burdened to pray for his restoration to the faith he had wandered from.
I determined then that I would not wait until my kids fell into sin to pray for them. I decided to pray before they saw trouble. Today, I get awakened in the early morning hours to pray for my daughter. I find myself staying up late, weeping and groaning with a burden of prayer for my son. I would rather be sensitive to pray that they not fall away, than to have to pray after their failure that they would come back.
I bear them up in more than prayer. I carry them by my encouragement. I lift them up by developing their minds and challenging their thinking. I give my kids a boost by believing in them and giving them a chance to stretch their interests.
Dad, our job is not to just endure our kids, but to lift them through the rough years. Those who care about their kids will carry them to maturity. The “put up with” mentality assumes that kids can raise themselves. The “bear them up” mindset realizes that we dads carry the load to help our children turn out great.
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Dad, read this story with your kids:
Burden Bearer
Rusty bounced into the kitchen to see what Mom was doing. She was mixing up batter for a cake.
“Are we having cake for breakfast?” Rusty joked.
“No. I’ve got to get this cake made for the wedding at church tonight. I’ve got a lot to do, so go see if your sister is up, please.”
“Sure.” Rusty walked down the hall and knocked on Misty’s door.
“Who is it?” a groggy voice said from inside.
“Your big brother. It’s time to get up, sleepy-head.”
“I’m still tired.”
“Mom said to get up.” Rusty listened but didn’t hear anything more from her room. “Are you coming?” he asked. Misty didn’t answer.
Rusty went back to the kitchen. “Mom, she doesn’t want to get up. She said she is still tired.”
Mom frowned. “Hmm. She went to bed early last night, too. I’ll go check on her.” Mom washed her hands in the sink and dried them on her apron. Rusty followed her down the hall as Mom knocked on Misty’s door and opened it.
Misty half opened her eyes. “My head hurts.”
“Oh, no, girl,” Mom muttered as she put her hand on Misty’s forehead. “I can’t have you sick. Not today.” Mom left the room and went into the bathroom to dig something out of the medicine cabinet.
Rusty stood in the doorway and asked, “Do you feel hot?”
Misty shook her head.
Mom came back and stuck the thermometer under Misty’s tongue. “Hold this until it beeps.”
When it beeped, Mom took it out and looked at it. “Okay, you’re running a little temperature. I want you to stay here in bed, okay, honey?”
Misty nodded.
“I’m going to get you some stuff that will help you get better. Are you thirsty?”
Misty nodded.
“Okay, Rusty, get her a glass of water.”
Rusty left the doorway and went to the kitchen. By the time he had a cup of water for his sister, Mom was back in the kitchen digging something out of the cupboard. Rusty took Misty the water.
Misty took a sip. “Thanks,” she said, shakily putting it on her nightstand.
Rusty heard Mom call him from the kitchen. “I’ll be right back,” he said.
In the kitchen, Mom gave Rusty a cup of juice that she’d mixed up with electrolytes and vitamins. “Have her drink all of this and chew this up,” she said, handing him a vitamin tablet.
Rusty marched into Misty’s room and said, “Okay, patient. Drink all this and chew all of this.”
She looked up at him with a smirk, “Thanks, doctor.” She chewed up the vitamin while Rusty sat down in a chair by her bed. “These things taste so gross,” she said.
“I know.”
Misty gulped down her drink. “Whew! That wasn’t too bad.”
“Now, how can I help you,” Rusty said, taking the cup back.
“I would like my sleep, thank you.”
Rusty gave a mock bow, “As you wish, ma’am.” He left the room.
In the kitchen, Rusty found Mom stirring ingredients into a large bowl. “Can I help?”
“Yes,” Mom said without stopping. “You could help by doing your sister’s chores for the morning. Empty and refill the dishwasher, please. First, you better have some breakfast, though.”
Rusty cooked a couple eggs and made a piece of toast. He ate his food quickly and cleaned up his mess. Then he emptied the dishwasher and put any dirty dishes in it. When he finished that, Mom let him run the mixer. He watched the batter go round and round. When that was through, Mom made up another vitamin/juice mix for Misty.
“Here, go give this to her. See if she is feeling any better.”
Rusty did. When Misty finished the juice, Rusty asked, “How are you feeling?”
“Better. Doctor, can I get up now?”
Rusty laughed. “I don’t know, let me go ask your nurse.” He went and checked with Mom and came back. “She said no. Not yet. Would you like to color?”
Misty nodded her head eagerly. “My crayons and my new coloring book are on the top of my dresser.”
Rusty got them for her.
“You want to color, too?” she asked.
“Sure.” Rusty sat down. Misty ripped a picture that Rusty liked out of her book. He colored on her nightstand, sharing crayons with her, while she colored in the book, sitting up in her bed.
They colored a few pages together until Misty said she felt tired. “I want to get better soon,” she whimpered.
“Let’s pray!” Rusty said.
__________________How do you know Rusty loves his sister?
How do you know Rusty loves his mother?
How can you bear with your brother or sister’s needs?
Have you ever gotten to help take care of your parents or grandparents?
Who else have you been able to help?
When have you had a need and someone else helped you through it?
Schoolwork, carrying something heavy, doing a big job.
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Read the following scripture with the family:
Someone to Help
I King 17:8-16
And the word of the LORD came unto him, saying, Arise, get thee to Zarephath, which belongeth to Zidon, and dwell there: behold, I have commanded a widow woman there to sustain thee.
So he arose and went to Zarephath. And when he came to the gate of the city, behold, the widow woman was there gathering of sticks: and he called to her, and said, Fetch me, I pray thee, a little water in a vessel, that I may drink. And as she was going to fetch it, he called to her, and said, Bring me, I pray thee, a morsel of bread in thine hand.
And she said, As the LORD thy God liveth, I have not a cake, but an handful of meal in a barrel, and a little oil in a cruse: and, behold, I am gathering two sticks, that I may go in and dress it for me and my son, that we may eat it, and die.
And Elijah said unto her, Fear not; go and do as thou hast said: but make me thereof a little cake first, and bring it unto me, and after make for thee and for thy son. For thus saith the LORD God of Israel, The barrel of meal shall not waste, neither shall the cruse of oil fail, until the day that the LORD sendeth rain upon the earth.
And she went and did according to the saying of Elijah: and she, and he, and her house, did eat many days. And the barrel of meal wasted not, neither did the cruse of oil fail, according to the word of the LORD, which he spake by Elijah.
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What’s our memory verse? What does it mean to bear with others?
[Love] “beareth all things.” To carry their load. To cover their needs as if they were your own.
How did the widow of Zarephath obey the principle of love bearing all things?
Why did the woman help the prophet when she already had enough problems to worry about?
How did God bless her for putting someone else first?
Do you remember a time that God blessed you for helping someone else?
Role Play: You are in a hurry to get something and get out of the store so you won’t be late. At the store, you see an elderly man struggling to get the produce bag open so he can put his vegetables in it. What do you do?
You finally finished your schoolwork and can’t wait to get outside when you notice your mother has dropped her case of sewing pins on the floor and is trying to find them all and pick them up. What do you do?