For dad only:
Legalistic Joy-Killer
If your home lacks joy, you are probably a hard-fisted, rule-making jerk. Pushing the kids, berating your wife, and criticizing what they tried to do will lead to a pale gloom in your home. I would rather drink old coffee and breath second-hand smoke at the café than put that pall of death and that stench of hopelessness into the air of my home. I have done it before, but I’m proof a man can change.
The letter kills
When you run a home with rules, you tell your family that things are more important than people. Legalists make lists of do’s and don’t’s. Leaders develop character in kids to know when to do and don’t.
The Spirit gives life and joy to your home. Do you fill your home with the presence of God, or do you try to run it like a boot camp? Your kids can be whipped into shape for fear of dad, or they can be molded into the image of Christ with a reverence for God.
Laziness kills joy, too
If your wife and kids lack joy, what are you doing to change the situation? Do you pray together, or just tell them they should? Do you expect your kids to do chores while you sit idle on the couch?
The best way to teach your kids to enjoy work is to work enjoyably with them. While prayer and Scripture discussion help pull our family together, nothing seems to build a greater sense of cooperation and a team-spirit than doing a project together. Spring cleaning, yard work, remodeling, and daily chores should be whole-family project. Sure, the little kids slow you down, but they will still be your loyal friends someday when you slow down.
To lead your home in joy, do not change your expectations for their development. Just change your method.
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Read this story to your kids:
Staying Tanked Up
“Rusty! What did you do that for?” Misty said, stomping across the kitchen.
Rusty turned to block her from getting to the refrigerator. “I had to put it somewhere and all the other magnets are used.”
“Guys, what’s going on?” Dad asked.
“Big meany here just put his picture over the top of mine on the fridge.”
“See,” Rusty said, “I printed off my picture of the sunrise this morning. Doesn’t it look awesome?”
“Hmm,” Dad said, “I see a horrible contrast here.”
Rusty frowned. “You don’t like my picture?”
Dad leaned against the counter. “I like both of your pictures. Misty, that is an awesome drawing of the rainbow we saw. Rusty, you took a great shot of that sunrise. I like what you both have done because you have captured God’s beauty on paper.”
Misty looked at her picture, partially covered by Rusty’s. She moved toward the refrigerator, but Rusty crossed his arms and stood in her way.
“But,” Dad continued, “you both are making a horrible picture right now. We need to work on capturing God’s beauty in our attitudes. Your sunny picture is getting clouded up by your selfishness, Rusty. And Misty, your touchiness is dulling the bright colors of your rainbow.”
Dad took both of the pictures off the refrigerator door. He pushed one against Rusty’s chest and said, “Hold it here.” He pushed the other against Misty’s chest and said, “Hold that there. That looks a lot better. I want to see God’s beauty when I look at you.” He began to smile and said, “I want you both to spend this afternoon thinking of how you can keep God’s beauty alive in your hearts.”
“How long do we have to carry these?” Misty asked.
“All the way to your bedroom,” Dad said. “Mom and I have choir practice for the revival service tonight. We are dropping you off at Grandma’s house, so get ready.”
“Yes!” Rusty said.
“Then, after church tonight,” Dad said, looking at his watch, “I want to hear what you both come up with to help you keep the beauty of God’s joy and kindness in your attitude and actions.”
They both went to their rooms to get ready to leave.
• • •
When they arrived, Grandma opened the door. “I’ve got a surprise!”
“All right!” Misty said, giving her a hug.
“What is it?” Rusty said, looking through the sliding glass door.
“Well, step outside and I will show you.”
Rusty and Misty walked onto the back deck and looked in the yard. They saw a big plastic pool with a garden hose filling it.”
“Now, it is not deep enough to swim in,” Grandma said, “but you can at least splash around and cool off!”
“Can we get in now?” Rusty asked.
“Sure,” Grandma said.
“Rusty,” Misty said, “don’t forget we have to answer Dad’s question tonight.”
“I know,” Rusty said, and ran over to the pool.
“What question must you answer?” Grandma asked.
Misty shrugged. “Dad wants us to figure out how to draw a rainbow on our hearts. He wants us to show God’s beauty in our attitudes and our words the same way nature shows God’s beauty.”
“Hmm,” Grandma said. “Sounds like he means you should have more joy, love, peace, kindness, and patience.”
“I wish I did. Sometimes I do, but sometimes I get really upset at things.”
“How do you get joy in your life? What makes you more loving and patient?”
“Well, when I got the Holy Ghost I felt like I loved everybody. I was really happy for a long time. Then, when I got refilled, I felt the same way again. Sometimes when we pray at home I feel really close to the Lord. That’s when it is easy to be nice and everything.”
They both watched Rusty splash into the pool. “Then I would think about how you can spend more time in the Lord’s presence so you can have His attitude about things.”
Misty nodded. She wiped sweat from her forehead.
“Well, don’t let me keep you from the fun.” Grandma went back inside, and Misty joined her brother.
They pulled out the hose since the pool was mostly full. First, they just splashed the water around. Then Rusty got a ball, and they tossed it back and forth, laughing every time it hit the water and splashed them.
After a while Rusty said, “I wish I could dive in.”
“You do and you will hit your head on the bottom.”
“So, I can at least do a cannonball.” Rusty ran to the oak tree, ran back to the pool, and jumped in. He landed on his knees, sending a tidal-wave splash over Misty’s head.
“You soaked me!” she laughed. “Now it’s my turn.” She ran the other way, turned around at the fence, and ran toward the pool. She jumped and sent a big shower over Rusty.
He sputtered and laughed. “Let’s see how big of a wave we can make together. They both ran to the oak tree, sprinted to the pool, and jumped in, making a huge splash.
After a few more times of this, the pool only had a few inches of water left. “We’d better fill it back up,” Rusty said.
He got the hose and started refilling the pool while Misty played with the ball. “I know what I need to do about getting God’s beauty on the inside,” Misty said.
“What?”
“Pray hard at the revival tonight. Every time I pray until I speak in tongues again, I feel God’s happiness. That’s the best way I know how to keep a good attitude.”
“Yeah,” Rusty said. “It has been a while since I’ve gotten refilled, too. Sorry about covering up your picture.”
“Oh, I forgive you. I shouldn’t have yelled about it.”
He turned off the water and sat in the pool to think.
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Now discuss it!
Do you ever have a hard time being beautiful on the inside?
What helps you have the best attitude?
When you have been in the presence of the Lord, how are you different afterward?
Read Galatians 5:22-23. Do you see these traits in your life after you pray in the Holy Ghost?
What happened to the water in the pool after Rusty and Misty had jumped in it for a while?
What did they have to do, if they were going to continue enjoying the pool?
Refill it again.
What are some things in life that splash out the water of God’s Spirit?
Bad grades, mean brothers and sisters, getting tired, getting sick, and so on.
How do you get refilled on God’s love, joy, peace, and patience?
By praying in the Holy Ghost.
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Read God’s Word together:
Prayer, Power, and Boldness
As soon as they were freed, Peter and John returned to the other believers and told them what the leading priests and elders had said. When they heard the report, all the believers lifted their voices together in prayer to God: “O Sovereign Lord, Creator of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them—you spoke long ago by the Holy Spirit through our ancestor David, your servant, saying,
‘Why were the nations so angry?
Why did they waste their time with futile plans?
The kings of the earth prepared for battle;
the rulers gathered together
against the Lord
and against his Messiah.’
“In fact, this has happened here in this very city! For Herod Antipas, Pontius Pilate the governor, the Gentiles, and the people of Israel were all united against Jesus, your holy servant, whom you anointed. But everything they did was determined beforehand according to your will. And now, O Lord, hear their threats, and give us, your servants, great boldness in preaching your word. Stretch out your hand with healing power; may miraculous signs and wonders be done through the name of your holy servant Jesus.”
After this prayer, the meeting place shook, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit. Then they preached the word of God with boldness.
All the believers were united in heart and mind. And they felt that what they owned was not their own, so they shared everything they had. The apostles testified powerfully to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and God’s great blessing was upon them all.
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Let’s talk about it!
In this story, Jewish leaders were trying to stop the Christians from talking about Jesus. They had beaten some of them and threatened them. Do you think that made the believers sad and drained their joy?
What did the church do when they faced this situation?
They prayed.
After talking to God, how did they feel? See verses 31 and 33.
They had boldness and rejoiced in God’s favor and blessing.
What should we do when we feel discouraged or intimidated?
Role play: You have had a long day, your feet hurt, and you just want to sleep. Suddenly, guests arrive. What will help you keep joy and kindness in your heart?
Get away somewhere and pray to help get your attitude straight.
We need to pray everyday to stay in tune with Jesus and have His attitude. What else helps us keep our hearts pure and our minds thinking right?
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Memorize it!
Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is
love,
joy,
peace,
longsuffering,
gentleness,
goodness,
faith,
meekness,
temperance:
against such there is no law.