For dad only:
Love Like Adam
While weeping in prayer one day, I asked the Lord how He could have ever loved His disciples. I was burned out, at the bottom, and totally frustrated with people. I did not feel I could love anyone at that moment—even my own children. I saw everyone’s flaws. I could remember every hurt and frustration, see all they had done wrong, and wanted to level the world instead of loving it.
Love like the second Adam
The Lord spoke to me as I grieved before Him. He impressed something like this on my heart: “I do not love people the way you do. You love with the love of fallen man—through the knowledge of good and evil. I do not have the fallen nature and do not see things the way you see them. I love people because they are made in the image of God.”
I tend to love people who are good people and despise people who are evil. God, in His humanity, did not deal with people according to their flaws or their attempts at righteousness. He ministered love because we are creatures He made to receive His love. He does not love us because of what we are.
You can love your kids, no matter what they are like now. If they receive your love, you can develop them into the character of God.
Love from the heart, not the head
If you base your love for people on what you know about them, you will love them less and less the more you learn. Jesus did not come to judge (His second coming will be the time of judgment). He loves us with a pre-adamic love, a love not based on sin. Stop looking at your kids’ faults and love them for who they should be.
Jesus loved the rich young ruler, Mary Magdalene, Simon Peter, and even Judas enough to wash his feet. If He treated them according to His knowledge of them, they would have had no hope. Love like Jesus.
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Read this to the kids:
Drawing from Deep Wells
The sound of smashing glass caused Rusty to turn this head toward the alley just up the street. Dad seemed to notice the sound, too. He pedaled his bike a little faster and Rusty stepped into his a little more, as well.
“Did you hear that?” Rusty asked.
Dad frowned and nodded, not saying anything.
Rusty took the hint to be quiet.
Coming past the old brick building on the edge of the alley, Dad and Rusty stopped their bikes and glanced around the corner. Three young guys were running away from them and turned a corner at the end of the alley.
On the ground by the brick wall, a pile of shattered glace sat as glittering evidence. Shards of glass spread out from the pile into the alleyway where cars would drive. Nearby, a stack of glass bottles stood waiting their doom. Fortunately, Dad and Rusty had frightened the hoodlums off.
“It was the Peterson boys,” Rusty said.
“Are you sure?”
“It looked like them, but I didn’t see their faces.”
Dad sighed. “Those boys cause more trouble.”
Rusty nodded. “How do kids turn out to be such fools?”
Dad looked at Rusty and thought for a moment. “Don’t be too harsh on them, Son. Yes, they are behaving very foolishly, but did you realize that they have a lot of wisdom deep within them?
“What? I don’t think I have ever seen anything wise come from those three.”
“But it is there,” Dad said. “They just have not had anyone draw out the depths of wisdom within them.” Dad stooped down and started picking up the broken glass that might pierce car tires.
“So we all have wisdom in us?” Rusty asked, stooping to help his dad clean up the mess.
“God created us with the ability to be fools or wise men. It is our choice. We can be godly or wicked. Children often lack people in their lives who will draw out their good potential.”
Rusty listened to the clinking sounds of the broken glass as they picked it up and added it to the pile by the wall.
“I was a lot like them when I was their ages,” Dad continued. “It wasn’t until I was an adult on my own that a pastor took my aside and began to show me my potential. He encouraged my right decisions and counseled me against the foolish nature I wanted to follow. It took me many years, but eventually I saw that I could make the right choices with the help of Jesus.”
“I think you make a lot of wise decisions, Dad. Like helping me buy my bike. I wanted to buy the cool-looking one but you showed me the one that would last a long time and not fall apart quickly.”
“Thank you, Rusty. Just by saying that, you are pulling wisdom from the wells deep within me.”
“Me? I never thought I could help you be wise.”
“A wise person knows how to draw wisdom out of someone else. You do not have to be smarter than other people, just help them find their own smartness. Help them see that they can make good decisions.”
The two worked side-by-side for a while in silence.
Finally, Rusty asked, “Are we still going to Carter’s house tonight?”
“Yes,” Dad said, “I just talked to his dad this morning.”
“Cool.” Rusty stood and knocked the dirt off his hands. “I hope Carter doesn’t turn out like those Peterson boys.”
“You see similarities?”
“Yeah, sometimes.”
“So, you could help him turn out like them if you say that to him. Don’t you imagine the Peterson’s parents have told those boys, ‘You are such fools’?”
“I guess.”
“So, just pointing out a person’s foolishness might just be a way of developing more foolishness. To draw out a person’s wisdom, point out what they have done right and mention good decisions you expect them to make.”
“I think I understand.”
Dad stood and brushed off his hands and said, “I hope whoever owns this building come out and cleans up the rest of this. At least no one will cut their tires, now. We have got to get going so we can make it to Carter’s on time.”
• • •
Mom and Dad were in the living room talking to Carter’s dad and stepmom, while Misty and Carter’s little brother Skylar played Chinese checkers on the floor.
“Well, Doug, I am proud of you,” Dad was saying, “you have brought your family to church very faithfully.”
Carter opened a cabinet door in the kitchen and said to Rusty, “Hey, look.”
“What is it?” Rusty asked.
“Ketchup packets.”
“Hmm. You like ketchup?”
“Yeah, especially when you step on them.”
“Oh, I did that once, by accident,” Rusty said. “It went everywhere.”
“Isn’t it awesome?” Carter grabbed a handful of ketchup packets. “Come on.” He headed out the backdoor.
Rusty followed. “What are you going to do?”
“Bust them out behind the garage!”
Rusty’s mind flashed up a scene of the Peterson boys running away from the broken glass. “But Carter, that’s—” Rusty stopped himself. Draw out the wisdom, he reminded himself of what Dad had said.
“It’s what? Not allowed? I won’t get in that big of trouble.”
“Do you think your stepmom will like this?”
“Probably not, but she will get over it.”
“I thought you and her were getting along well since you got baptized.”
“Yeah, mostly.”
“I think you probably want to stay on her good side. I don’t think smashing ketchup all over the back of the garage is going to help you find favor with her.”
Carter looked at the ketchup and thought for a second. “Don’t you think this will be fun?”
Rusty shrugged. “Yeah, it would be fun. But there are better things we could do than destroy stuff. What would you do to help your dad and stepmom out?”
“I was supposed to rake the leaves out by the oak tree today, but they said I could wait until you leave.”
Rusty saw a rake and grabbed it. “Let’s do it and surprise them.”
A while later, the adults came out to check on Rusty and Carter. When Carter’s stepmom saw him raking, she said, “Wow! That lawn looks really good. Now, whose idea was that?”
Rusty stopped raking and pointed at his friend. “Carter thought you would appreciate it.”
Carter looked at Rusty and then at his stepmom.
“Well, Carter, I am so proud of you.”
“Thank you,” Carter said, trying to hide his smile as he went back to raking.
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Now discuss it!
What does Proverbs 20:5 say about drawing wisdom from within people?
Read this in the New Century Version, NIV, and/or New Living Translation
How did Rusty draw out wisdom from deep within Carter?
How did Dad draw wisdom out of Rusty?
If you had a chance to talk to the Peterson boys, what could you do to draw out wisdom in them?
Who have you helped find wisdom?
Who has drawn wisdom up from deep within you?
Who can you speak to and help them find the deep wisdom God already put within them?
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Read God’s Word together:
Jesus Drawing at Greatness
As Jesus was starting on his way again, a man ran up, knelt before him, and asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to receive eternal life?”
“Why do you call me good?” Jesus asked him. “No one is good except God alone. You know the commandments: ‘Do not commit murder; do not commit adultery; do not steal; do not accuse anyone falsely; do not cheat; respect your father and your mother.’ ”
“Teacher,” the man said, “ever since I was young, I have obeyed all these commandments.”
Jesus looked straight at him with love and said, “You need only one thing. Go and sell all you have and give the money to the poor, and you will have riches in heaven; then come and follow me.”
When the man heard this, gloom spread over his face, and he went away sad, because he was very rich.
(Mark 10:17-22, GNB)
The teachers of the Law and the Pharisees brought in a woman who had been caught committing adultery, and they made her stand before them all. “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. In our Law Moses commanded that such a woman must be stoned to death. Now, what do you say?”
They said this to trap Jesus, so that they could accuse him. But he bent over and wrote on the ground with his finger. As they stood there asking him questions, he straightened up and said to them, “Whichever one of you has committed no sin may throw the first stone at her.” Then he bent over again and wrote on the ground.
When they heard this, they all left, one by one, the older ones first.
Jesus was left alone, with the woman still standing there. He straightened up and said to her, “Where are they? Is there no one left to condemn you?”
“No one, sir,” she answered.
“Well, then,” Jesus said, “I do not condemn you either. Go, but do not sin again.”
(John 8:3-11, GNB)
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Let’s talk about it!
How did the rich young man respond to Jesus’ love?
Will people always do the right thing because we love them?
Jesus gave the woman who had done bad things a second chance. How do you think she lived after that?
Role play: Your friend borrowed your Frisbee and lost it. Now, he wants to borrow a game you have. What will you say?
How has someone accepted you even after you messed up? How did it make you feel to be loved even when you disappointed them?
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Memorize it!
Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out.