Thoughts on modesty, for dad only:
Children Want Boundaries
Do you let your kids tell you “no”? I hope so. My two-year-old has no problem saying, “No, Daddy!” if I try to take a drink from her cup or steal a bite of her breakfast. She knows I do not belong in her zone. She even goes to pieces if someone uses her pillow without asking.
Modesty as a living boundary
I expect my daughter to grow up very protective of her privacy. If she freaks about someone using her pillow now, I’m sure any boy who gets too close someday will get a bloody nose. Do not restrict your children too much if they set big standards for themselves. They may be a little extreme over some things, but they will rebound to sensibility eventually. Encourage them to think out their choices and what the consequences will be.
Enjoying distinctions in gender
Do not raise your boys to be sissies. They want to be men. Do not raise your girls to do everything a man can do. She should love who she is as God made her. She may go through a tomboy stage, but consistently nudge her to be the lady God created her to be.
The Lord created us different for a reason. The world tries to rob our young people of their gender. Let the girls wear the lace. Dress your boys in camouflage. God gets glory when we remain distinct.
Boundaries make a safe living area
Think of life if your house had no walls. Anyone could invade, and weather would damage everything. Your children are just as vulnerable without a sense of boundaries.
They deserve to know why we do and believe the things we do. This devotional is for you to sit down and talk about principles of modesty and holiness for children. You need to discuss how long skirts and pants should be and why. Will you allow swimsuits, tanktops, and shorts? Discuss how these things bring glory to our bodies, but not to God.
You have got to read a book I am reading right now. The concepts of boundaries are amazing for bringing peace and stability to your home. If dads would teach the concepts of this book to their children, there would be no more teen pregnancy, domestic violence, or jails. Get Cloud and Townsend’s Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life
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Read this story to your kids:
Building Godly Fences
Last time, Rusty earned enough money to buy his own MP3 player. Afterward, the family stopped at a restaurant.
Mom, Dad, Rusty, and Misty all placed their orders at the cash register. Afterward, Rusty and Misty took the cups to the soda fountain machine to get the drinks. An older girl was in front of them, waiting on her sibling.
Misty looked at the child getting a drink and waited patiently. The older girl looked down at Misty and said, “We’re just waiting on slow-poke here.”
Misty smiled and tried to say something nice. “Is that your brother?”
The older girl frowned and then laughed. “No, she’s my sister.”
Misty looked at the child again, in surprise. “Oh, sorry,” she stammered. She could feel her face getting red and hoped they would not say anything more to her.
After they left, Rusty whispered, “Nice going.”
“I didn’t know,” she said. “He—she looked like a boy.”
Rusty nodded; he thought so, too.
At their table, Misty told her parents what happened. Then, she asked Mom, “Why do people dress like that?”
Mom shook her head. “I don’t know, Misty. Some little girls try to be boys. They don’t know the joy of just being what God made them.”
“Is it a sin to wear pants?”
Mom looked at Dad and raised her eyebrows.
Dad sighed and said, “Honey, it is wrong for us to try to change the image of what God made us to be. If Rusty were to try to look like a girl, that would not make God happy. You make God glad by dressing like a girl, letting your hair grow long, and things like that.”
“Why did you delete the movie clip off of Rusty’s MP3 player? They looked like girls.” Misty frowned, “But something wasn’t right about them.”
Mom laughed. “Misty, those ‘girls’ looked trashy. They did not have all their clothes on. God wants us to look like ladies, and He wants us to cover up our bodies.”
“At the mall, I didn’t like the skirt I tried on that showed my knees. Do we cover up because our bodies are ugly?”
“Well,” Mom said, “we dress right because ugly sin can creep in. It is more than you can understand right now, but think of it like this: Why do we have a door on the bathroom?”
Misty’s eyes got big. “Because it would be very embarrassing if we didn’t.”
Mom nodded. “We should feel ashamed to not have all our clothes on. Girls cover their bodies with dresses, skirts, and shirts. Boys cover theirs with pants and shirts.”
Dad looked out the window at a power transformer station with a big fence. “See that fence over there, hon?”
“Yes,” Misty said.
“Why is it there?”
“To keep people out?”
“Yes. To keep people away from danger. People are not supposed to go into that area or they could be killed by high electrical voltage. Wearing modest clothing is like building a good fence. We need safe boundaries.”
“Like movies, too?” Rusty asked. “We have to put up fences about what we are going to watch or listen to.”
“Exactly,” Dad said. “We put up fences about many things. We put up a body barrier with modest clothes so peoples eyes do not go where they do not belong.”
“So, you got rid of Rusty’s video clip because those girls did not know how to keep up a fence.”
“Yes!” Rusty said. “I wish more people would keep up their fences. I don’t want to see that stuff anyway.”
The older girl and her boy-looking sister walked by.
After the were out of earshot, Dad commented, “Yes, Son. We keep our eyes from going out of bounds when people do not put up fences.”
“And,” Mom said, “we continue to love those who don’t understand. Do not get proud or think you are better.”
“Well,” Misty said. “I am happy being a girl and I want to look like a girl.” She looked around and lowered her voice, saying, “I do not ever want to mistaken for being a boy.”
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Now discuss this devotional on modesty!
Boys: When you dress like a boy, how do you feel?
Girls: When you dress like a girl, how do you feel?
Many girls feel more feminine by dressing like a lady. Boys should feel more masculine. Perhaps your kids do not know the difference if they have never crossed that line.
Why do so many women and girls dress like men and boys?
Maybe they think they are tough. Women started dressing like men during WWII when they started working like men. God wants to liberate women to be them selves and not try to mimic a male-dominated culture. Feminism enslaves women to being equal with men, rather than being radiantly different.
Is dressing right the only thing that matters about modesty?
No. We should be modest when we talk, and not brag. We should be modest when we eat, and not gobble. And we should be modest when we meet people who are different by not making them feel weird.
What does it mean to be modest?
Discuss your family vision for modest clothing on the boys and girls. How long should the skirts be? How long should shirt sleeves be?
What can we do as a family to be more modest and stay distinct from the world?
Do you have a little fence mending to do?
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Read God’s Word together:
Adam and Eve Under Cover
And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed.
And out of the ground made the LORD God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil. And a river went out of Eden to water the garden; and from thence it was parted, and became into four heads. The name of the first is Pison: that is it which compasseth the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold; And the gold of that land is good: there is bdellium and the onyx stone. And the name of the second river is Gihon: the same is it that compasseth the whole land of Ethiopia. And the name of the third river is Hiddekel: that is it which goeth toward the east of Assyria. And the fourth river is Euphrates.
And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die. And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed….
And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.
And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden. And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou? And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself. And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?…
And Adam called his wife’s name Eve; because she was the mother of all living. Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them.
(Genesis 2:7-25; 3:6-11, 20-21)
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Let’s talk about modesty and personal holiness!
How did God make Adam?
How did He make the first woman differently from how He made the man?
After they sinned, what did they realize?
They were naked.
What did they do?
Covered their shame with fig leaves.
The scripture said this was an apron. What kind of clothes would this be like today?
Wearing a tank top and shorts.
Did God let them leave the garden with those clothes on?
No. He made them thick coats or robes of animal skins. They covered most of their bodies.
Role play: You have a friend give you immodest clothes. What do you do and say?
Someone laughs at you for dressing modestly. How do you feel? What do you say? Will this change how you honor God with your clothing?
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Memorize a scripture on modesty!