For dad only, devotional about contention and strife, see below for story teaching boys courage and bravery:
The Cross vs. the Rod
Do your kids boss each other around? Do they tattle on each other? Do they nag one another or point out each other’s faults? That what this family devotional’s about. Contention is a symptom of a greater problem.
I was in a car wreck once because I failed to yield when turning left at a green light. I was talking on the phone to someone about my youngest child who was at death’s door, in the hospital. After that little import car smashed into me, all I could think of was how everyone else was to blame: that guy was driving too fast, that person should not have called me on the road, and the city should have put up a reminder that solid green meant yield on left!
We humans have this tendency to see everyone else’s faults. We see ourselves much better than we really are. We see our deficiencies as character qualities or just shrug it off, saying everyone is different.
You do not want a house full of children who feel they must judge everyone else’s actions. These make for poor adults. If they gossip about their siblings’ failures or gripe at each other everyday, you are raising church troublemakers.
Public correction
I have wondered how much sibling rivalry we inspire when we correct our kids in front of each other. I am sure that if you chide one child in front of the others about a bad habit, they will poke fun at him later. Do not expect a family devotional about contention to undo such bad habits.
It is not that they are being hateful—they are just doing what you do in a smaller version. Since they cannot control each another the way you do, they will manipulate each other by withholding emotional (not talking), physically (not sharing), or spiritually (not caring).
I am no perfect dad, but I try to not correct my child in front of the other kids (or anyone else for that matter). If their crime is public, however, they need a verbal rebuke (I Timothy 5:20). Do it in such a way that only the sin looks bad, not the person. Instead of saying, “You dirty rotten liar,” I would say, “It is not like you to let a lie come out of your mouth!” This saves the child’s face while warning the others.
Private rebuke
Rather than make a scene with your wayward child at the store or church, plan an aggressive retraining program when you discover immature behavior. The goal of correction is not to just make sure the punishment meets the crime, but to restore the child as well.
Younger children might need obedience drills until they obey immediately. Older children need more role-playing so they think out the consequence of their action. Memorizing verses and weeping in sincere repentance are important, too.
Polarized vs. Magnetized
Threatening children to get them to behave creates unnecessary tension. They should know the potential for punishment if they dishonor you. Your daily interactions should not be manipulative and even abusive threats. Spend your day drawing them into harmony with your expectations and goals.
You will probably have more conflict with the child most like you, just as the north end of a magnet repels another magnet’s north end. So stop squaring off and facing each other. Get side-by-side and let your combined strengths move more than you could on your own.
Living the Cross
If anger begets anger, then humility begets humility. And prayerfulness begets prayerfulness. The dying-to-self kind of Christianity magnetizes people together. Learn the art of Jesus’ leadership. He did not threaten His disciples with, “I am going to bust your rear if you don’t stop arguing.” He knelt down and washed their feet.
Let the love of Christ magnetize your family together. After reading this devotional about contention and strife, you might find yourself needing more discipline here than your kids do! Instead of demanding their perfection, work on loving them and serving their needs.
How are you humbling yourself at home? Jesus got more respect and honor from His followers by going to the cross than He ever did by cracking the whip in the Temple. The rod and the whip can only control the animal nature. It takes the cross to change the soul.
Read this to teach boys courage and bravery:
Rusty to the Rescue
Last time, Rusty’s Aunt mysteriously disappeared. He thinks they have found the kidnappers vehicle.
While waiting for the police to come, Dad suggested the family discuss what they knew about the mysterious disappearance of Aunt Martha.
“Okay,” Mom said, “what did you guys hear on the phone call?”
“I did not hear much other than her telling someone to put her down,” Dad said. “Rusty, what did you hear before you put the call on speakerphone?”
Rusty thought for a moment. “There was a man saying he loved her.”
“What did she say?” Mom demanded.
“She said, ‘No you don’t. You just want Henry’s money.’ Then she said he reminded her of someone.”
“Oh yeah!” Dad said. “She told him he was just like Henry’s brother.”
“Henry was her husband,” Mom said, thinking out loud.
“Hey,” Misty said, “do you think the kidnapper looks like her husband’s brother?”
“Maybe, but Henry’s brother has been dead for several years. It doesn’t make sense that she would…” her voice trailed off.
“Think context!” Dad said. “Why would she say that right then? Think of what was happening. It sounds like the guy—or guys—picked her up and carried her out the door. Who was Henry’s brother?”
Mom sighed. I have heard her talk about him before. It seems like he wanted to marry her before Uncle Henry did. She never liked his brother, though.”
“Okay, we’ll have to see if we can find out more about Aunt Martha’s brother-in-law. Now, think of what Rusty found behind the house.”
“Oh yeah! The ring,” Misty said.
“And this!” Rusty said, holding up the little box.
“Where did you get that?” Mom asked.
Dad turned to look toward the entrance of the car lot. “Hey, there’s the police now.”
“I got it from the red suburban,” Rusty explained.
The police car pulled up as Mom took the box and looked at it closely. The officer got out and explained that the detective would be over in a minute.
“Rusty,” Mom said, “this is the kind of box a ring would come in.”
“Do you think that guy wants Aunt Martha to marry her?” Misty asked.
Mom’s face grew pale. She looked at Dad. “Honey, I think we should go back to her house. I have a feeling they will come back.”
“Well,” Dad looked at the officer to let him know of their plans, but the man had overheard.
“Sir,” the policeman said, “I will have to ask you to wait here until the detective arrives. It should not be long.”
“Then can I go?” Mom asked. The cop shrugged.
Dad looked at Rusty, “You guys be careful. Let me know what you find out. Remember, Rusty, think context.”
“Okay, Dad,” he said as they all got back in the minivan.
On the way back to Aunt Martha’s house, Mom called Aunt Martha’s sister. Rusty heard her saying, “Uncle Henry’s brother tried to elope with Aunt Martha against her will?”
“What does elope mean?” Misty asked Rusty.
“It means go get married really quick.”
“You mean they don’t decorate the church or wear special clothes?”
“No. They just go to a guy in the government called a Justice of the Peace. He marries them really quick.”
Mom was off the phone now and they were pulling into the driveway. “We have got to figure out where these guys are,” Mom said.
“I’ve been thinking about context,” Rusty said. “The police are trying to figure out where she is right now. If we put all the pieces together, I think we can figure out where they will take her!”
“That’s a good thought,” Mom said, parking the van behind the house. “Let’s talk about that more in a minute. Right now, I want to look inside. I have this feeling they will need her identification and that is still in her purse.”
“Can I walk around outside to find more clues?” Rusty asked.
“Yes,” Mom said, hopping out with Misty following.
Rusty worked his way around the house. He looked in the birdbath. He looked under the yard swing. He was peeking into the bushes when he saw a small black truck drive slowly down the road. Staying behind the bush, Rusty watched it slow down and turn into the driveway.
“Mom!” he shouted toward the window. He ran around to the front of the house. The truck had pulled up the driveway and suddenly stopped. He must have seen the minivan. The driver quickly backed up onto the front lawn to turn around and get away.
In his hurry, the driver ground the gears, trying to pull forward. Rusty saw the back of the truck only a few feet away. He had to do something to find his aunt. He ran and jumped into the back of the truck. At the same moment, the drive took off down the road.
Rusty landed in heap in floor of the truck bed. The driver did not seem to notice him. Rusty crawled up to the front of the bed, right behind the driver. He lay flat against the cab so if the man looked back he would not see him.
Rusty lay there with his heart beating in his ears. He watched the tops of trees to try to remember where they were going so he could get help later. After a few turns, he felt dizzy and could not keep track of all the buildings and street names they were passing.
He wished he had a phone to call his Dad or Mom. Instead, he cried out to Jesus. His fear calmed down and he began thinking hard. He asked the Lord to keep Aunt Martha safe and to give him the smarts to help her.
“Context,” he said to himself. He tried to figure out what the man was after and why they were doing all of this. He remembered Mom saying something about Uncle Henry leaving behind a lot of money. He could not figure out how anyone could make someone marry them.
He could hear the man talking. He must have had a phone. The truck slowed down on a quiet road. It bumped a little and Rusty looked around. They were pulling up to a house. They must be in the driveway. Rusty sat up, realizing he had to jump out to get help.
The truck stopped and Rusty lost his balance.
The man jumped out. “What are you doing?”
Rusty stood up and ran to the side of the truck to jump out. The man ran around to grab him. Rusty ran back to the driver’s side and hopped down. The driver’s door was still open so Rusty jumped in and closed it quickly. He barely got the door locked before the man got to it.
The engine was still running, so Rusty tried to remember what he had learned about driving while out at Grandpa’s farm. This truck had a clutch and a stick shift, which Rusty had not done before. He pushed on the clutch and shoved the gear forward.
“You dirty little rat!” the man shouted.
The truck rocked and squeaked, then sputtered and died. Rusty tried to start it again. Suddenly the driver’s door opened.
“You didn’t think I had another key, did you?”
Rusty tried to climb out he passenger’s side. The man jumped in and grabbed him. Rusty was kicking and yelling, but the man held him down. He started the truck again with his other hand. The garage door yawned open, and the man drove the truck into the darkness.
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Now discuss this story teaching boys courage and bravery!
What makes a hero? What does Proverbs 24:10-12 say about this?
How do you think Mom and Misty feel right now?
Do you think Rusty should have left this job to others?
Why do you think Rusty yelled, “Mom!” when he saw the black truck?
How would you define courage?
When have you had to be brave before?
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Read this Bible story on courage and bravery:
Taking a Risk for Others
When Mordecai learned about all that had been done, he tore his clothes, put on burlap and ashes, and went out into the city, crying with a loud and bitter wail. He went as far as the gate of the palace, for no one was allowed to enter the palace gate while wearing clothes of mourning. And as news of the king’s decree reached all the provinces, there was great mourning among the Jews. They fasted, wept, and wailed, and many people lay in burlap and ashes.
When Queen Esther’s maids and eunuchs came and told her about Mordecai, she was deeply distressed. She sent clothing to him to replace the burlap, but he refused it. Then Esther sent for Hathach, one of the king’s eunuchs who had been appointed as her attendant. She ordered him to go to Mordecai and find out what was troubling him and why he was in mourning. So Hathach went out to Mordecai in the square in front of the palace gate.
Mordecai told him the whole story, including the exact amount of money Haman had promised to pay into the royal treasury for the destruction of the Jews. Mordecai gave Hathach a copy of the decree issued in Susa that called for the death of all Jews. He asked Hathach to show it to Esther and explain the situation to her. He also asked Hathach to direct her to go to the king to beg for mercy and plead for her people. So Hathach returned to Esther with Mordecai’s message.
Then Esther told Hathach to go back and relay this message to Mordecai: “All the king’s officials and even the people in the provinces know that anyone who appears before the king in his inner court without being invited is doomed to die unless the king holds out his gold scepter. And the king has not called for me to come to him for thirty days.” So Hathach gave Esther’s message to Mordecai.
Mordecai sent this reply to Esther: “Don’t think for a moment that because you’re in the palace you will escape when all other Jews are killed. If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?”
Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: “Go and gather together all the Jews of Susa and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. My maids and I will do the same. And then, though it is against the law, I will go in to see the king. If I must die, I must die.” So Mordecai went away and did everything as Esther had ordered him.
On the third day of the fast, Esther put on her royal robes and entered the inner court of the palace, just across from the king’s hall. The king was sitting on his royal throne, facing the entrance. When he saw Queen Esther standing there in the inner court, he welcomed her and held out the gold scepter to her. So Esther approached and touched the end of the scepter.
Then the king asked her, “What do you want, Queen Esther? What is your request? I will give it to you, even if it is half the kingdom!”
And Esther replied, “If it please the king, let the king and Haman come today to a banquet I have prepared for the king.”
The king turned to his attendants and said, “Tell Haman to come quickly to a banquet, as Esther has requested.” So the king and Haman went to Esther’s banquet.
And while they were drinking wine, the king said to Esther, “Now tell me what you really want. What is your request? I will give it to you, even if it is half the kingdom!”
Esther replied, “This is my request and deepest wish. If I have found favor with the king, and if it pleases the king to grant my request and do what I ask, please come with Haman tomorrow to the banquet I will prepare for you. Then I will explain what this is all about.”
Haman was a happy man as he left the banquet! But when he saw Mordecai sitting at the palace gate, not standing up or trembling nervously before him, Haman became furious. However, he restrained himself and went on home.
Then Haman gathered together his friends and Zeresh, his wife, and boasted to them about his great wealth and his many children. He bragged about the honors the king had given him and how he had been promoted over all the other nobles and officials.
Then Haman added, “And that’s not all! Queen Esther invited only me and the king himself to the banquet she prepared for us. And she has invited me to dine with her and the king again tomorrow!” Then he added, “But this is all worth nothing as long as I see Mordecai the Jew just sitting there at the palace gate.”
So Haman’s wife, Zeresh, and all his friends suggested, “Set up a sharpened pole that stands seventy-five feet tall, and in the morning ask the king to impale Mordecai on it. When this is done, you can go on your merry way to the banquet with the king.” This pleased Haman, and he ordered the pole set up.
(Esther 4:1-5:14, NLT)
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Discuss courage and bravery!
What risk did Queen Esther take?
She could have died for coming into the king’s court unannounced.
What was the cause she risked her life for?
The people of God were going to die. She wanted to save them from Haman’s evil plot.
Do you think Esther was mad at Haman and his men?
What did she do, instead of tattle or yell at him?
Pray, fast. Then with good graces, she approached the situation kindly.
How can you handle difficult situations with wisdom?
Pray about it. Ask my parents. Think out the consequences.
What have you done to “rescue” someone before?
Who do you know that has risked his or her life to save someone else? Why did they do that?
How did Jesus become the best hero ever?
Role play: Someone threatens your Mom, little brother, or little sister? How would you feel? What would you do?
You are at a church picnic, waiting for some yummy food. You see a little kid about to fall out of his chair. If you help, you will lose your place in line. What do you do?
A bully is pushing a little kid around, trying to make him do something he does not want to do. He says if you tell, he will beat you up. What do you do?
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