For dad only:
The Lightning Rod
While helping homeschool my kids, I learned that my thinking was wrong about electricity. I want to apply it to life in this devotional about contention and fighting in the home. I always thought electricity flowed from positive to negative. Instead, it flows from negative to positive.
Lightning strikes from the ground to the clouds, they tell us, because earth builds up a negative charge which is attracted to the positive charge on the bottom side of the clouds. This negative charge builds up by friction.
Lightning rods, then, or buildings with metal roofs, will “leak” this negative charge into the air. Lightning rods do not work just in lightning storm; they are always giving off the negative charge so the building does not have a too big of a build up when thunderstorms come through.
Meet Dad, the Lightning Rod
I have discovered my job in the home is to help vent the excess build up of negativity. Just as static electricity builds up by friction, so in my home, negative vibes build up as long as I promote an environment of tension.
I have to be the positive factor in the home. My lightning rod is not my good character or flawless leadership. It is my prayer time. I get up before the rest of the family and connect with the Lord each morning. I have to discharge all my negativity into the heavens.
I find when I start the day with a positive charge, the family is neutralized as well and negativity does not build up. Since positive attracts negative, I can defeat much conflict before it happens. I find that by spending an hour or more worshipping and praising Jesus.
Grounding my attitude
I can start the day with negative build up by being a grump when I wake up my sleepy-heads. Sometimes I am in a hurry to get things started, and the kids do not want to wake up. I have learned the hard way that when I agitate them or gripe until they get up, soon their mom or I am having to separate a squabble. Rather than have to reorient everyone with a devotional about contention and fighting, I should have started the day out better.
I try to find something positive to say to each child to help him or her look forward to the day. Sometimes this is tough because my schedule may require them to get up earlier than normal. But they are good sports and have learned to look for the positive.
Minding my own business
“He that passeth by, and meddleth with strife belonging not to him, is like one that taketh a dog by the ears.” (Proverbs 26:17)
I have to continually relearn not create friction by letting little things get to me. Sometimes my children have a disagreement that I have no business getting involved in. If I always step in and solve every spat, will they depend on me to always be their peacekeeper? Or, worse, will they have to involve the law to solve differences with others?
For example, one girl may own a prized baby doll, while the other has the prized baby carriage. They both want to control both items for their own fun. I do not need to get involved in this situation. Naturally, they will figure out that they will both get what they want by working together.
Of course, if the situation turns into a fight (which girls never do, you know), I can pull a King Solomon and offer to cut the doll in half.
Eliminate mockery
I have never seen anything good come from scorn or mockery except more friction and negativity. I used to try mockery as a reverse psychology technique to get a child to stop crying. Instead, anger and negativity increase.
“Cast out the scorner, and contention shall go out; yea, strife and reproach shall cease.” (Proverbs 22:10)
Stop the sarcasm and ridicule if it has crept into your home. You will defuse a lot of fighting and anger just by killing the mockery monster. Pursue sympathy instead.
Stop forcing anger
“Surely the churning of milk bringeth forth butter, and the wringing of the nose bringeth forth blood: so the forcing of wrath bringeth forth strife.” (Proverbs 30:33)
Do you push your kids until they are exasperated by working them too hard or demanding too much? Do you punish an angry child until his frustration turns into hatred?
Lead by patience and love in the Spirit of Christ. Find solutions to what is rubbing everyone the wrong way. Ground them in prayer and Scripture. Live positive. You will decrease the sparks and explosions in your home.
Read this devotional about contention and fighting to the kids:
The Missing Aunt
Rusty looked at the map. “I think we need to get on the blue road that goes up.”
“Up?” Dad asked, “what kind of detective says, go ‘up’? Come on, Dr. Watson, this is elementary, I’m sure.”
“Okay, it goes north,” Rusty corrected himself.
“Mm-hmm, and what is the name of that ‘blue road’?”
“Uh, Interstate 35, I think.” Rusty was sitting in the passenger’s seat, helping dad navigate their drive home while Mom and Misty slept in the back seat.
“That sounds right,” Dad said, watching the big green signs to see how close they were.
“What I want to know,” Rusty said, “is why you don’t just turn on the GPS and let her tell you how to get there.”
“Because that would spoil your fun. That little screen doesn’t tell you where we are going, it just shows where we are. With that big map you get context—y’know, you get the big picture of where we are.”
“Context?” Rusty looked at the map. “Isn’t that the word you use when we memorize the Bible?”
“Yes!” Dad said, obviously impressed that Rusty connected the concept. “You need to know where the verses are in the Bible, not just memorize them off a card or computer printout. You need to see what they mean in the context that God gave them to us.”
Rusty looked at the map again. “Well, my context here does not show where the next bathroom is, but it would sure help me see the big picture better if we could find one.”
Dad laughed. “I think we can work that in.”
Dad’s phone rang. “Here, son, you get it for me.”
Rusty picked it up and looked at the screen. “Hey, it’s Aunt Martha.” He pushed to answer, “Hello?”
Rusty heard voices on the phone, but no one spoke to him. “Hello?” He listened carefully. He heard a chair squeak and a man’s voice say, “Martha, I love you.”
A woman said, “No you don’t, you just want Henry’s—Hey! Stop! Put me down!”
Rusty swallowed hard and looked at Dad. He pushed the speakerphone button so Dad could hear.
“You are coming with us,” another man’s voice said.
“Just like Henry’s brother!” the woman said. “He tried to—” a door slammed and everything was quiet.
Rusty looked at Dad. Dad looked pale. He stepped on the gas and said, “How far are we from Denison?”
Rusty grabbed the map; he noticed the edges of it were shaking. He looked up and down I-35 for Denison.
Dad spoke to Mom and got her to wake up. “Call your aunt’s sister,” he told her. “Tell her to get over to Aunt Martha’s house as quickly as possible.”
Dad picked up his phone and dialed 911. He began explaining the situation and asked for an officer to go to her house and see if anyone was still there.
Rusty said, “Here it is. On Highway 75. We have to take I-35E to 75 north.”
• • •
It took an hour until they finally arrived at Aunt Martha’s. The police had already looked the place over and talked to the neighbors to see if anyone noticed anything suspicious.
The police officer told them, “This lady next door said she saw a red suburban with darkly tinted windows. It sped out of here pretty quickly.”
Rusty, Misty, Dad, and Mom went into the house to look things over. Rusty finally got his much needed bathroom break. “Hey, there’s her cell phone,” Rusty said when he came out.
Dad looked at it, sitting on top of the piano. “She must have dialed the first person she could find on her phone, hoping we would hear what was going on and rescue her.”
“Here’s her purse,” Mom said. “She would not leave without that.”
After looking around inside for a while, they went back out.
Aunt Martha’s sister had been out of town, but had just arrived and was answering any questions the police and a detective were asking. “I do not know who would have done this,” she said. “I am shocked that someone would take her out of here like this.”
“Ma’am, can you think of any reason a person would be motivated to kidnap her?”
“Kidnap? No—is that what they did? I don’t know. I know her husband left her a lot of money.”
The detective frowned and looked at one of the officers. “Did the suspects leave any notes behind—anything that would look like they did this for ransom?”
The officer shook his head. “Not that we found. We just got our warrant so we can search the place thoroughly.”
While the family talked, Rusty looked around the backyard for clues. He did not find anything by the back door where they had to have taken Aunt Martha, but he kept looking at the ground all across the yard.
He was about to give up when he saw something gleaming in the grass. He walked over and looked closely. He reached down and picked up the shiny object. It was a wedding ring.
“Hey! Look what I found!” he said, running to his Dad and the police.
Mom and her aunt wiped their tears away and looked at the ring.
“Where did you get that?” the detective asked.
“It was lying in the grass, sir.”
“Was it hers?” the detective asked.
Mom looked at it, “No. I’m sure that was not her ring.”
After looking at it closely for a minute, the detective said, “It’s a cheap ring. Probably only cost $20 or so. It is an imitation ring—that is not a real diamond.”
“Where do you think it came from?” Dad asked.
The detective shook his head and sighed. “Sounds like a messed-up romance, if you ask me.”
Dad frowned. Mom groaned. They discussed what to do next. After talking and trying to think through every detail for another hour, they decided they needed to get a motel and stay in the area until this was figured out. The police wanted to watch the house in case anyone returned.
Just before they left, Rusty saw a little black pickup truck slow down as it went by the house, and then it suddenly sped up and took off.
Rusty kept his eye out for that truck as they left Aunt Martha’s house. As they drove down the road, Dad said, “We have to think through every detail. Rusty, remember what I said about context? We have to put everything together. Now, let’s go back over what you heard on the phone when you answered the call.”
“Okay,” Rusty said, staring out the window. “There was a lot of hollering and—” They passed a car lot. “Hey, look!” Rusty said.
Dad looked.
“A red suburban with tinted windows!” Rusty shouted.
“Okay, but keep your voice down, son,” he answered, “our nerves are shot.”
Dad turned around and pulled into the car lot. A salesman walked out of the building to greet them.
“Has that truck been here long?” Dad asked.
“A couple weeks,” the man replied. “Why? Is it what you are looking for? It would fit your family fine.”
Dad frowned and shook his head as he walked around the vehicle. “I was wondering, do you rent it out?”
“No, sir. But we can set up a payment arrangement.”
Rusty opened the door. The inside of the SUV looked silent, but it seemed like it wanted to tell him something. He closed the front door and opened the back. On the floor, he saw a little box. He opened it and tried to figure out what it was. It was silky inside and had a slot you could stick something in.
“What is it?” Misty asked, over his shoulder.
“I don’t know,” Rusty said, frowning. “It looks like it could hold a fat coin or something. What would you do with a little box like this?”
“So this rig has not left the lot at all today?” Dad asked.
The salesman shrugged. “Someone looked at it earlier today. Couple hours ago.”
“Did he take it for a test drive?”
The salesman nodded. “Seems like he had it out for a little longer than usual, but he brought it back all right.”
“Did you happen to catch the man’s name?”
The salesman smirked. “Sir, I am here to sell cars. What is it you want?”
Dad explained what had happened to Aunt Martha. He had Mom call the number the detective had given them.
“Well, we’ll be glad to talk to the authorities when they get here,” the salesman said. “But the man who came here did not seem like the kind to kidnap anyone.”
Rusty spoke up, “Did you notice what kind of car he was driving?”
The salesman shrugged. “It wasn’t a car, son. He had a little black pickup truck.”
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Now discuss this devotional about contention and fighting!
How would you feel to know that someone in your family had been kidnapped?
How do you think Aunt Martha feels right now?
What would you do if you were her?
What would you do if you were Rusty?
Does God let bad things happen to good people?
Do you think it is normal for the family to feel stressed out and worried when one of them is threatened?
How do arguing and fighting bring the same feelings to your family that Rusty and his family are feeling?
Why do we bring threats and injury to our own family?
Solve this mystery: why would family members fight and argue? Who is kidnapping their joy and peace?
Selfishness. Pride. Sin. The devil takes them hostage.
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Read what God’s Word says about contention and fighting:
Taken Hostage by Selfishness
There was no king in Israel at that time. In those days the tribe of Dan was looking for territory to claim and settle in because they had not yet received any land of their own among the tribes of Israel. So the people of Dan chose five qualified men out of all the families in the tribe and sent them from the towns of Zorah and Eshtaol with instructions to explore the land and spy on it.
When they arrived in the hill country of Ephraim, they stayed at Micah’s house. While they were there, they recognized the accent of the young Levite, so they went up to him and asked, “What are you doing here? Who brought you here?”
He answered, “I have an arrangement with Micah, who pays me to serve as his priest.”
They said to him, “Please ask God if we are going to be successful on our trip.”
The priest answered, “You have nothing to worry about. The LORD is taking care of you on this trip.” So the five men left and went to the town of Laish. They saw how the people there lived in security like the Sidonians. They were a peaceful, quiet people, with no argument with anyone; they had all they needed. They lived far away from the Sidonians and had no dealings with any other people. When the five men returned to Zorah and Eshtaol, the people asked them what they had found out.
“Come on,” they replied. “Let’s attack Laish. We saw the land, and it’s very good. Don’t stay here doing nothing; hurry! Go on in and take it over! When you get there, you will find that the people don’t suspect a thing. It is a big country; it has everything a person could want, and God has given it to you.”
So six hundred men from the tribe of Dan left Zorah and Eshtaol, ready for battle. They went up and camped west of Kiriath Jearim in Judah. That is why the place is still called Camp of Dan. They went on from there and came to Micah’s house in the hill country of Ephraim.
Then the five men who had gone to spy on the country around Laish said to their companions, “Did you know that here in one of these houses there is a wooden idol covered with silver? There are also other idols and an ephod. What do you think we should do?”
So they went into Micah’s house, where the young Levite lived, and asked the Levite how he was getting along. Meanwhile the six hundred Danite soldiers, ready for battle, were standing at the gate. The five spies went straight on into the house and took the wooden idol covered with silver, the other idols, and the ephod, while the priest stayed at the gate with the six hundred armed men.
When the men went into Micah’s house and took the sacred objects, the priest asked them, “What are you doing?” They told him, “Keep quiet. Don’t say a word. Come with us and be our priest and adviser. Wouldn’t you rather be a priest for a whole Israelite tribe than for the family of one man?”
This made the priest very happy, so he took the sacred objects and went along with them. They turned around and started off, with their children, their livestock, and their belongings going ahead.
They had traveled a good distance from the house when Micah called his neighbors out for battle. They caught up with the Danites and shouted at them.
The Danites turned around and asked Micah, “What’s the matter? Why all this mob?”
Micah answered, “What do you mean, ‘What’s the matter?’ You take my priest and the gods that I made, and walk off ! What have I got left?”
The Danites told him, “You had better not say anything else unless you want these men to get angry and attack you. You and your whole family would die.”
Then the Danites went on. Micah saw that they were too strong for him, so he turned and went back home. After the Danites had taken the priest and the things that Micah had made, they went and attacked Laish, that town of peaceful, quiet people which was in the same valley as Bethrehob. They killed the inhabitants and burned the town.
There was no one to save them, because Laish was a long way from Sidon, and they had no dealings with any other people. The Danites rebuilt the town and settled down there. They changed its name from Laish to Dan, after their ancestor Dan, the son of Jacob. The Danites set up the idol to be worshiped, and Jonathan, the son of Gershom and grandson of Moses, served as a priest for the Danites, and his descendants served as their priests until the people were taken away into exile. Micah’s idol remained there as long as the Tent where God was worshiped remained at Shiloh.
(Judges 18:1-31, GNB)
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Let’s talk about it!
Why did the Levite go with the invading tribe of Danites?
He wanted to get paid well.
Why did the Danites invade the city of Laish and kill the peaceful people?
They wanted a nice place to live.
Why did this tribe take stuff from Micah’s house?
Because they wanted it.
How can selfishness destroy people’s lives in your home?
Role play: Your little brother/sister has a toy you really want to play with. Your parents are not watching and you could get it away with it without them seeing that you took it. If you take it, who has taken you captive? If you do not take it, why?
Your neighbor got a new bike just before leaving for vacation. They forgot it outside when they left and you really want to use it. Will you or not? Why?
Everyone in the family got an ice cream treat. Your sister left hers in the freezer for later. The next day, you realize she forgot about it. If you could take it without her knowing, would you? Why or why not?
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