For Dad Only

Thanksgiving among Unequals

Do you raise your kids as “even Stevens”? God does not. He let His Stephen become Christianity’s first martyr. Stephen’s equals did not die, however. Philip, for example, preached just like Stephen and instead of being killed, he saw all of Samaria turn to Christ.

Thanksgiving is about inequality
You have young and old around the table. You have brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, parents and grandparents who all have a unique story to tell. Some are still struggling financially. Others funded the meal. We can all start out equally with the same parents and living situation, but turn out radically different from one another.
The first Thanksgiving introduced us to the beauty of inequality as well. You had experienced Native Americans, who knew how to hunt, farm, and fish in America, contrasted with the English settlers who were having to learn a new set of survival skills. Thanksgiving began as a celebration of bounty, but also as a celebration of distinction.

Raise your children as individuals
When you raise kids to expect to have the same as their brothers or sisters, they will never be happy. Kids raised as equals often become whiny and always demand to be treated fairly. God is not fair. He might give my brother a brand new pair of shoes but leave me to buy mine. Just because my brother in the Lord gets to drive an Escalade does not mean I should get one.
I raise my children very unequally. I might let one child spend the day with a family and keep another at home. I might spend $75 on one child and make another earn the money to buy a similar item. I buy shoes for my kids when they need them—I do not buy everyone shoes just because I bought a pair for one of them. I want my children to be distinct individuals. They may not understand all my reasons why, but I have thought and prayed through my decisions and know my role in helping shape each one of them away from their sinful inclinations into becoming a strong tree planted by the rivers or living water.

Learn contentment in inequality
My wife feeds our family according to our blood types and genotypes. This means one person’s thanksgiving meal is different than another. One child can eat venison while another cannot. One can eat sweet potato while another eats squash. Fortunately, we can all eat turkey and cranberries (what would Thanksgiving be without that?). Not only has this discipline helped our family’s health, but it has also taught us contentment with our God-given distinctions. Our children have learned to enjoy some of the privileges and challenges of being unique from their siblings.
Only contented people can say thank you. The life’s-not-fair kinds of people are never happy. They really do not want equal treatment but preferential. Pray and ask God how you can help shape distinct individuals out of the children you are raising. Raise your boys distinct from the girls. What should be different about your 8-year-old from the 3-year-old’s life purpose?

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Read this story with your children

Giving Thanksgiving Thanks Giving

“Do we have to work in the kitchen again?” Misty asked. “We spent all day yesterday in the kitchen.”

Mom stretched and nodded. “I’m just as worn out as you honey, but we have to finish a couple pies and some sauce before the company gets here.”

“Is the turkey done yet?”

“Just about, hon. It should be nice and tender when dinner times arrives in a few hours.”

Misty put on her apron and tied it around her waist. “I need a new apron. I think this one is too small.”

“Hmm,” Mom said. “I didn’t know this was Complaint Giving Day.”

“Huh?”

“I thought today was Thanksgiving Day.”

“Oh,” Misty said.

“So,” Mom said, while taking some pans out of the cabinet, “let’s find things to be thankful about.”

Misty worked alongside Mom for a while in silence. Finally, she said, “I’m glad the family is coming here this year. It’s better than the time we went to—”

“Misty!” Mom said. “You will have to do better than complaining about something else to be thankful.”

Just then, Rusty walked in the kitchen. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Misty’s face lit up and she said, “Now there’s something I can be thankful for!”

Mom opened the cupboard and took down the jar of popcorn. “Here, Rusty, set these around the table. I want five kernels at each plate.”

Rusty took the jar and frowned. “Five at each plate?”

“Yes. Count out five kernels of corn and set them at the top left of each plate.”

He raised his eyebrows and said, “Okay.”

After he went out to count out the kernels, Misty asked, “What’s that for?”

“You’ll see,” Mom said.

Misty inhaled the aroma of the cooking turkey and focused on making the pie crust the way Mom had taught her.

*       *       *

When the whole family had finally stopped hugging, talking, story telling, joking, and laughing, Dad convinced them all to sit around the table so Grandpa could give thanks for the food.

Grandpa cleared his throat and said, “Before I pray, I want to tell a story.”

Misty sat up. She liked Grandpa’s stories.

“Have you all heard about the first Thanksgiving?”

Rusty and Misty and their cousins nodded.

“Do you know what they ate?”

“Deer meat!” Misty said.

“Yes, the Indians brought venison to make sure there was enough food for the feast,” Rusty added.

“Yes,” Grandpa said. “They also had fish. They had a lot of seafood because they lived near the ocean. Do you know want other kinds of food they had?”

“Corn,” one of the cousins said.

“Yes,” Grandpa said, “they grew corn with the help of the Indians. One man, named Squanto, taught them how to plant and grow crops here in the new world.”
“I read that they put fish guts in the hole everywhere they planted corn,” Rusty said.

“Rusty,” Mom said quietly.

“No, he’s right,” Grandpa said with a smile. “But I want to know one thing. Who were they giving thanks to?”

“Each other?” a cousin said.

“Were the Indians thanking the Englishmen for bringing them guns? Were the English thanking the Indians for teaching them new hunting tricks and how to raise crops in a different environment?”

“Yes,” Misty said in a quiet voice, “and they gave thanks to God for all the good food.”

“That’s right,” Grandpa said with a grin. “And they were especially grateful to God for letting them all live through a tough winter. Many of the pilgrims had died from disease and the harsh Massachusetts winter. They had plenty to be thankful for that first harvest season.”

“But things were not always perfect for them,” Dad said.

“Nope,” Grandpa continued, “the next year they did not have a good crop. That winter they had to be very careful with the food they had so they did not run out. Everybody shared their corn and each person could eat only five kernels per day.”

“So that’s why we have five kernels of corn at our plates,” Rusty said.

“Yes,” Mom said, “and we are going to use them.” She set an empty jar in front of Grandpa.

Grandpa picked it up and said, “I want to pass this around so each of us can put in one kernel of corn each time we tell something we are thankful for. So, to start, let’s each say one thing we are thankful for, and then I will bless the food. Then, during the meal, each of us can put in our remaining four pieces of corn as we think of thankful things.”

“And whoever has the last piece of corn,” Mom said, “gets to do the dishes.”

Everyone laughed and pointed at each other trying to say who would be stuck with the clean up. Then Grandpa set the empty jar in front of Misty.

“There you go, dear. Why don’t you start for us?” he said.

Misty gulped and looked at the jar. Everyone stared at her. She began seeing a pile of dishes in the kitchen sink. “I-I can’t think of anything,” she stammered.

“Sure you can,” Grandpa said. “That first thanksgiving, every one of the English settlers had lost a mom or dad or child. They all had lost close family members, but they still found something to be thankful for. I know you can, too.”

Misty’s eyes brightened. “I’m thankful for all of my family and that we are together for this great meal!”

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Let’s discuss it!

Is it easier to complain or to be thankful?

If the first American immigrants were thankful to God for providing for their needs, how much more should we be today?

What ways can you show God you are thankful for what He has given you?

How can you show thankfulness to your parents, grandparents, and other family members?

Does it matter to God if we complain about things He has given us?

How does the Lord Jesus feel if we complain about people?

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Buy quality and old-fashioned value for your kids this Christmas

Read the scripture together with your family

Homecoming Feast

To illustrate the point further, Jesus told them this story: “A man had two sons. The younger son told his father, ‘I want my share of your estate now before you die.’ So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons.

“A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and moved to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money in wild living. About the time his money ran out, a great famine swept over the land, and he began to starve. He persuaded a local farmer to hire him, and the man sent him into his fields to feed the pigs. The young man became so hungry that even the pods he was feeding the pigs looked good to him. But no one gave him anything.

“When he finally came to his senses, he said to himself, ‘At home even the hired servants have food enough to spare, and here I am dying of hunger! I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired servant.”’

“So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.’

“But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began.

“Meanwhile, the older son was in the fields working. When he returned home, he heard music and dancing in the house, and he asked one of the servants what was going on. ‘Your brother is back,’ he was told, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf. We are celebrating because of his safe return.’

“The older brother was angry and wouldn’t go in. His father came out and begged him, but he replied, ‘All these years I’ve slaved for you and never once refused to do a single thing you told me to. And in all that time you never gave me even one young goat for a feast with my friends. Yet when this son of yours comes back after squandering your money on prostitutes, you celebrate by killing the fattened calf!’

“His father said to him, ‘Look, dear son, you have always stayed by me, and everything I have is yours. We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life! He was lost, but now he is found!’”

(Luke 15:11-32, New Living Translation)

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Let’s talk about it as a family

Was the younger son (who asked for the money) a complainer or a thankful person?

Do you think he was grateful for how generous his father was?

How did life in a pig pen help his appreciation for his father’s house?

How do you know his father was a grateful person?

Did his dad complain about the boy wasting the money?

Was the older brother a grateful or complaining person, in this story?

What did he complain about?

What could he have been thankful for?

Role play: You are planning for a holiday trip with family when bad weather comes in and makes you stay home. How do you keep a grateful attitude in this situation?

What about when your hopes are dashed? For example, you are hoping to play a special game with family members or expecting a certain gift for Christmas and nothing works out the way you expected. How do you retain a grateful spirit? What can you be thankful for in situations like this?

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Memorize an attitude of gratitude

I Thessalonians 5:18

In every thing give thanks:

for this is the

will of God in Christ Jesus

concerning you.